Of Cows and Doors
by ReeseJaelyn
Summary: When Arthur finds out about Merlin's magic, he throws him in the dungeon. So what will happen when Arthur goes down to the cells to visit Merlin? What magical adventures has Merlin gotten himself into? Bromance, no slash.


Arthur sighed. He ran his hands through his hair, unsure of what to do. Thoughts spun around his head. "Merlin has magic. Magic is evil. Merlin is evil." But that last thought made no sense. Merlin couldn't be evil. He was Merlin. Arthur hit the wall in frustration. Ever since he'd become king, he'd had conflicting feelings about magic and its persecution. Sighing, Arthur decided that the best course of action would be to talk to Merlin, then pass judgement. Arthur began the long and weary trek to the dungeons where Merlin was languishing. He walked down the steps to the dank place where the cells lay, thinking of what he would say to Merlin. Unfortunately, all of his plans were ruined when he arrived at Merlin's cell. Upon first glance, everything seemed normal. Merlin was sitting against a wall, with his eyes closed, seemingly lost in thought. Then he noticed what was wrong. There was no cell door. It wasn't just open, or broken, or lying on the floor, it was just gone.

"Merlin." Arthur said.

"Yeah?" Merlin responded, not even opening his eyes.

"What happened to the cell door?"

"The cow." Merlin answered cryptically.

"What?" Arthur asked. Merlin didn't respond, but instead pointed to the other side of the dungeon. Arthur turned to where Merlin was pointing and sure enough, there was a large black and white cow butting its head against the wall. It let out a baleful moo before returning to its task.

"Merlin," Arthur began quietly, "Where did that cow come from?"

"The door." Merlin answered, still with his eyes closed, seemingly very relaxed.

"What?"

"I turned the door into a cow." Merlin answered simply, acting like this was one of the most normal things in the world.

"WHY?" Arthur asked loudly. At this Merlin opened his eyes. Merlin shrugged

"It was being annoying." This made no sense to Arthur. If there was no door, why hadn't Merlin escaped?

But instead he asked, "How can a door be annoying?"

Merlin shrugged again. "Well I enchanted it so it could speak."

"WHY?"

"I was bored." Merlin responded, acting like Arthur shouldn't be surprised that he'd turned the cell door into a cow because he'd been bored. Arthur took a deep breath.

"Explain this to me one more time." He demanded.

"Well I was really bored and lonely," started Merlin, "So I enchanted the door so it could speak. You know, so I could talk to someone. But after a few hours, it started getting really annoying. It was blathering on and on about how it was unappreciated and how it wished it wasn't a door at all. So then I just said 'You know what? Fine!' And so I turned it into a cow." Arthur stared at Merlin, trying to process what Merlin had just said. It took him a few seconds to realize that Merlin was still talking.

"So it was, like, an hour before the ex-door and I realized that cows can't climb stairs!" Unable to help it any longer, Arthur burst out laughing. The whole situation was just so ridiculously Merlin. Merlin joined him in laughing before a thought occured to Arthur.

"Wait, wait, wait. How did you do all that with magic restraining cuffs on?"

Merlin blinked. "Those were magic restraining cuffs?" Arthur looked at his wrists and noticed that there were no cuffs in sight.

"Where are your handcuffs, Merlin?" Merlin pointed to the other side of his cell where his handcuffs lay broken and abandoned on the straw. "How did you get those off?" Arthur asked.

"They were chafing against my wrists

so I magicked them off." Merlin replied.

"But those were magic restraining cuffs. No sorcerer should have been able to break out of those."

"Warlock," Merlin corrected absentmindedly.

"What?"

"I'm a warlock, not a sorcerer"

"What's the difference?!" Arthur shouted.

"Well I was born with powers, I didn't choose them. And I'm much more powerful than regular sorcerers. Also, I don't just have magic. I am magic." With that, Merlin's eyes glowed gold and a sphere of light appeared in his hands. The same sphere that led Arthur out of the cave of the morteus flower. Arthur thought about this. Merlin had saved his life back then. How many times had he saved his life since? While Arthur was pondering this, Merlin had created a butterfly out of thin air and was staring at it with a childlike wonder. It was then that Arthur proclaimed Merlin decidedly not evil. He still had one more question.

"So if there was nothing hindering your magic, and there was also no cell door, why didn't you escape?" Merlin turned his gaze away from the butterfly and stared straight into Arthur's eyes.

"Because you hadn't passed judgement on me yet. If you had sentenced me to the pyre, I would have gone without struggle." Merlin said simply. Athur sighed. Merlin really had no sense of self preservation. He held a hand out to Merlin.

"Let's get your out of here. I'm going to need some help changing the laws of magic. And I want you to tell me all of the times you saved my life. I want to know everything." Arthur said. Merlin grinned bigger than Arthur'd ever seen him smile before. He stood up, and followed Arthur out of the cell.

"So if I'd put you on the pyre, you'd really let me burn you?"

"Well yeah, but it wouln't be that effective. You know, because I'm immortal."

"WHAT"


End file.
